


B4 the Strom

by haunter_ielle



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, The Companions-Fandom
Genre: Interrogation, Murder Mystery, The Circle, The Companions - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-29 00:40:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8469172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haunter_ielle/pseuds/haunter_ielle
Summary: There has been a murder in Whiterun! With the help of a mysterious stranger, the members of the Circle must work together to solve the case.Honestly probably the dumbest thing I've ever written.





	

            “And then I said something random that implies I’m finishing a long and relatable story!” Karalissa said, slapping her hand against the tabletop.

            Farkas and Aela slammed their fists against the supper table as they erupted into wild gales of laughter, leaning on each other for support. Karalissa had been telling a long and relatable story, something she often did over supper. Though Jorrvaskr’s mead hall was filled with Companions, all stuffing their face with Tilma’s freshly baked bread and steamy stew, the members of the Circle sat off to the side at a table of their own.

            On this particularly ominous night, which was grainy and in black and white, the werewolves were enjoying an evening in. Farkas was shoveling food into his mouth and staring at Aela with love-struck, puppy eyes. Aela was kicking her legs aimlessly under the table, but accidently knocking her foot against Vilkas’ leg every once in a while. Vilkas was pouting, his arms folded across his chest, and Karalissa was talking nonstop because she’s annoying.

            Vilkas shook his head, trying to conceal a smirk. “I find that tale rather humorous, Kara, but being grumpy and irritable is sort of my thing, and so I’ve chosen to make a snarky remark.”

            “Oh, Villy.” Karalissa sighed, leaning against her palm. “If I didn’t love you as much as Farkas loves bread, I would probably do more than roll my eyes and shake my head in mock irritation.”

            “I really love bread.” Farkas said around a mouthful of buttered yeast loaf.

            Aela wiggled her shoulders and nodded her head from side to side. “I’ve grown restless, and I long for an adventure to satisfy my lust for shooting arrows and doing badass flips.”

            At that moment, a man the Circle had never seen before slammed the front door open, his figure just a shadowed silhouette in the frame. His face was illuminated for just a moment as lightening flashed in the sky behind him, but no one could recognize him.

            “There’s been…” his head snapped toward the ceiling, turning his nose up dramatically. “…a _murder_!”

            The Companions gasped, the sound echoing off of the walls as the entire mead hall grew eerily quiet. Everyone was so surprised, they were rendered speechless. Ria fainted into Athis’ arms, and Torvar spit some of his liquor out in shock. Njada and Ralof may not have heard because they were sucking face in the corner. Codus shrugged and went back to hanging from the ceiling like a bat.

            Karalissa stood from the table. “A murder, you say?” She marched toward the mysterious man, who wore a trench coat and a fedora, even though those things don’t exist in Skyrim. “I’m the law around here, and I can assure you that this murder will be solved promptly!”

            The rest of the Circle approached, hoping to get in on this action. “Take us to the body.” Aela said.

            The man led them out into the rain and down the steps of Jorrvaskr. They followed him to the marketplace, which was vacant in the late evening, and approached the corpse of a man. Though mangled and bloody, there was something about him that was vaguely familiar.

            “Something about this dead guy is vaguely familiar.” Karalissa said, checking his pulse to ensure he was truly dead.

            Vilkas folded his arms across his chest. “Where was he last seen?”

            The fedora man checked his notepad, which was in his hand now. “He was last seen in the marketplace.” He looked down at the body. “Dead.”

            “I meant when he was alive.” Vilkas said, rolling his eyes.

            “I wouldn’t know.” Fedora Man stammered. “I’ve only just discovered this body. You’re putting a great deal of pressure on me.”

            Aela crouched over the body. “We should search for evidence.” she suggested. She and Karalissa began to search the man while Vilkas inspected the surrounding area for clues. Farkas began playing hopscotch, humming to himself and eating a loaf of bread because he had no idea what was going on.

            Karalissa stood suddenly, a paper in her hand. “This may be helpful.” she said, unfolding the parchment. “It’s a note. It reads, ‘woe unto the fountains, my fairest darling’.” She looked around at everyone. “Such strange words.”

            Aela sniffed a lock of the dead man’s hair. “Judging from his scent, I gather that this man was named Hodgkiss.”

            Fedora Man gasped. “How can you know?”

            Aela did a backflip. “I’m an attractive, underdressed woman who happens to be an expert tracker.”

            Fedora Man nodded. “You make a fair point.”

            Vilkas grunted from where he stood near Belethor’s Shop. “Ysmir’s Elbow! Another clue!”

            Everyone rushed to him. “What is it, Villy?” Karalissa yelled as everyone gathered around Vilkas.

            Vilkas lit a candle and held in beneath his chin, the flame flickering and casting a menacing shadow over Vilkas’ face. “The wood of this building is rather old.”

            “By the Gods!” Aela exclaimed, placing her hand over her heart. “This is worse than we thought.”

            Karalissa placed her thumb and index finger on her chin and began to pace back and forth. “According to Newton’s Law of Cooling, there’s a simple equation to calculate how long ago this man was killed. If you take into account the temperature of the surrounding area, then subtract the temperature of the body, then that should give you exactly twenty-four, which is how old I am. I was born in Solitude, and Solitude begins with the letter ‘S’. This letter is in the alphabet, which we all know was an invention the Greybeards created to distract us from the dragons circling in the sky. Eighteen divided by seven is the square root of Tilma’s cooking, which means Ulfric Stormcloak is my dad.” She gasped, her head snapping toward the group surrounding her. “I can’t make any sense of it!”

            “Damnit!” Vilkas yelled, punching the side of Belethor’s shop. “We were so close!”

            Farkas crossed his arms. “Watch your mouth, brother. We’re werewolves, not swearwolves.”

            Karalissa put her hair in a bun, then immediately took it down. “This is a difficult case. Maybe we should start at the beginning.”

            “Lissa is right.” Aela said, walking back to the body. She began to count his body parts. “This man has ten fingers and ten toes, but his eyes are closed.”

            “By the Knuckles of Ysgramor!” Vilkas exclaimed. “That’s not a good sign.”

            “But look!” the Fedora Man said, pointing at the victim’s leg. “His trousers are ill-fitting!”

            Karalissa nodded, staring off into the distance. “I believe we have our suspects.”

 

 

            Karalissa stood before the first suspect, who they’d tied to a chair. He’d been rather hard to catch, since he was small and quick, but Farkas had lured him into a trap using a sweetroll as bait. Aela stood nearby, a leek in one hand, and she waited as Karalissa interrogated the man.

            “Tell me,” Karalissa began. “Where were you on the night of tonight?”

            Cicero rolled his eyes. “I was at home with my woman.”

            “Don’t you dare talk about our sister like that!” Farkas growled, jumping around and kicking the air.

            “And what was it you were doing?” Karalissa asked, pacing back and forth before the suspect.

            Cicero huffed in exasperation. “Well, it’s Middas, so Arabella was crying and talking to the wall. To pass the time until she wanted to kiss all over my good-looking face, I was practicing with my crossbow.”

            “A crossbow, you say?” Karalissa asked, twirling the end of an imaginary mustache. “Was it the same crossbow you used to _murder_ that man?”

            Cicero blinked, then he simply shrugged. “I don’t know. Probably.” Aela slapped him with the leek. Cicero jerked his head back in confusion. “What did you do that for?”

            “For being an idiot!”

            “Okay.” Cicero said, raising his eyebrows.

            Karalissa stopped pacing to lean over the chair, leveling her face with Cicero’s. “So you admit that you killed Hodgkiss?”

            “Hodgkiss?” Cicero asked, furrowing his brow. “Who the heckin’ heck is Hodgkiss?”

            Karalissa straightened her back. “He’s innocent. Release him.”

            Farkas untied the bindings that secured Cicero to the chair, and once he was free, the jester cartwheeled out of the room.

            “Kodlak’s Left Boot!” Vilkas exclaimed. “We’re no closer to solving this murder than we were before!”

            “Now, hang on, Villy.” Aela began. “There’s something I noticed that’s convenient at this particular moment.”

            “Don’t call me that.” Vilkas said, crossing his arms and pouting.

            “What did you notice?” Farkas asked Aela.

            Aela narrowed her eyes. “Hodgkiss’ body was found near the Bannered Mare. And there’s only one man we know who is so rough and rowdy, even Hulda won’t allow him to sit in the bar.”

            Karalissa nodded. “Aela’s right, pals.” she said, taking notes for some reason. “We’re getting closer to the truth.”

 

 

            Cassius folded his arms across his chest. “I didn’t kill anyone.” he said firmly. “I haven’t killed anyone since I slayed Alduin, and that was so long ago, I can’t even remember if I actually did it or if I watched someone else do a gameplay walkthrough on YouTube.”

            Karalissa narrowed her eyes. “Oh, so you didn’t kill anyone in the war?” Farkas and Aela gasped as she asked, holding on to each other as the suspense built.

            Cassius’ eyes darted back and forth between the Companions. “Well, I did, but they were nameless, faceless Imperials the author added for plot convenience.”

            “Plot convenience, huh?” Vilkas asked, looming in the darkest corner of the dimly lit room like the emo he was. “The author also killed Maven Black-Briar. And my made-up mother. And Viarmo. You call that plot convenience?”

            Cassius nodded. “I do, actually. It was sort of unnecessary.”

            “It was entirely necessary!” Karalissa yelled, stamping her foot against the ground. “They weren’t really essential to the plot.”

            Aela nodded her head from side to side as she considered Karalissa’s words. “Well, Viarmo was sort of important to the plot.” Aela reminded her. “He was your stepfather, and he messed you and Cass up psychologically, so that’s kind of important.”

            “And Maven Black-Briar is annoying.” Farkas added. “She didn’t really have to be in the story. She could have just stayed in the Thieves Guild fanfic that still isn’t finished.”

            “And our mother was only discussed in that story where you and I went on vacation, Kara.” Vilkas added. “And that only got thirty-seven hits.”

            “Nonsense!” Karalissa said. “We’re discussing the death of Hodgkiss, right now. Not any of those other losers.” She held the leek to Cassius’ throat. “Tell me exactly why you killed him. Is it because he wouldn’t let you into the Bannered Mare?”

            “I’m telling you, Karl, I didn’t do it.” Cassius grumbled, his hair coming loose from his man-bun as he spoke.

            “You have no proof!” Karalissa shouted. “You must be guilty!”

            The light flicked on, and Lydia stood in the door frame of the library in the Palace of Kings. She held her baby on her hip. “What the hell is going on in here?”

            Everyone turned to look at her. “Leave us be, Lydia.” Karalissa said, pressing the leek against Cassius’ throat and gritting her teeth. “We’re doing a murder-mystery thing.”

            Lydia raised an eyebrow. “Are you coming back to bed soon, Cass?”

            “Yeah, I don’t think this scene will last much longer.” Cassius said, shrugging a little. “I’ll be there in a minute.”

            Lydia nodded and shut the door behind her after Catriona giggled for some reason, as if she were totally oblivious to the conversation happening around her. Everyone turned back to Cassius.

            “You’ve been asleep?” Farkas asked.

            “Yeah.” Cassius said, untying his bindings.

            “Oh.” Karalissa said, straightening up. “Then you’re probably not guilty.”

            “Nah.” Cassius concluded, patting his little sister on the head before he left the room to return to bed.

            “Jergen’s Fear of Commitment!” Vilkas exclaimed. “I feel that we’re even further from the truth now!”

            “I know!” Farkas said, facing away from the group. “This has me all turned around.”

            “We’re over here, Farkas.” Aela said, and Farkas turned to face them, relieved that he’d found everyone else because he’s just a little baby, and he gets lost easily.

            Karalissa rubbed her hands together, attempting to look menacing as she did so, but really just looked like she was rubbing her hands together. “That only leaves one suspect. Does everyone agree with me on who that suspect is?”

            Aela nodded. “Nobody knows what you’re talking about, Lissa.”

            Karalissa turned to stare directly into the camera. “Exactly.”

 

 

            “What’s the meaning of this?” Fedora Man cried as Farkas tightened the rope that secured him to the chair.

            Karalissa laughed. “You were found at the scene of the crime, Fedora Man. You’re the only person linked directly to the victim, and the only person who knew anything about him.” She folded her arms across her chest. “And if that weren’t enough, you’re dressed entirely out-of-place for this fictional setting. You have ‘guilt’ written all over you!”

            “And Farkas has ‘gullible’ written on his forehead!” Aela exclaimed, pointing at her boy toy.

            “What? Where?” Farkas asked, scrubbing his forehead. Vilkas laughed.

            “So, Fedora Man. I’ll ask you one more time.” Karalissa said as she held the leek to his face. “Did _you_ kill Hodgkiss?”

            Fedora Man shook his head. “I didn’t! I swear!”

            Karalissa slapped him with the leek. “Lie to me one more time, and I’ll make you eat this leek.”

            Aela laughed. “Yeah, and we all know that leeks taste like butt.”

            “Alright! Alright!” Fedora Man cried. “I’ll tell you.” He took a deep breath, then launched into his tale. “It all began long ago, in a dark corner of Skyrim where no light shines. The days stretched into weeks, then months, then years. I was left alone out there, in the cold and black world, without a single soul to keep me company. One day, I had no choice but to—”

            “Great Abandonment Issues!” Vilkas exclaimed. “Kara, take off his hat!”

            Karalissa pulled off his hat, revealing the Fedora Man’s true identity. She shook her head, her eyes wide with confusion. “Ulfric?”

            Ulfric shrugged, looking around at the Companions who had attempted to interrogate him. “Hi, everyone.”

            “You’re the Fedora Man?” Aela asked, her brow furrowed.

            “Yes, I’m the Fedora Man.” Ulfric said, hanging his head in embarrassment.

            Karalissa was confused. “But…why?”

            Ulfric sighed. “I was really bored. There’s literally nothing to do in Northshore Castle.” He kicked the dirt from where he sat in the chair, upset that he’d been figured out. “Galmar never plays murder-mystery with me.”

            Vilkas scowled. “Well, if you’re the Fedora Man, then who is that?” he asked, pointing to the dead body, which was still laying in the middle of Whiterun. Seriously. Everyone was just stepping over a _dead guy_. Like, even guards.

            Ulfric shook his head. “That’s the one thing I haven’t figured out.”

            Karalissa dropped to her knees before the corpse. She placed her hand on its shoulder. “Oh, Hodgkiss. I’ve failed you.” She began to cry, because Karalissa always cries. “If only I was able to solve this murder-mystery. Then you could be at peace.”

            Farkas fell to the ground beside Karalissa. “It’s okay, little Lissa. We’ll figure out who killed poor, innocent Hodgkiss.”

            Vilkas looked down at the dead man again, a little closer this time. “Wait.” he mumbled after a moment of inspection, nudging the body with his foot. “This is Belethor.”

            “Hodgkiss is Belethor?” Karalissa asked, looking at the corpse. “Oh. This _is_ Belethor.”

            Aela sniffed his hair again, then she sat back on her knees and laughed. “Oh dang. I was wrong.” She smacked her forehead.

            Karalissa looked around at her pals. “Does anyone…I don’t know, does anyone really care about Belethor?”

            Vilkas shrugged. “I mean…not really.”

            “Nah.” Aela and Farkas said in unison.

            “Oh. Okay.” Karalissa said casually. “Well, let’s go home then.”

            And they did go home. The four walked back to Jorrvaskr together, laughing about the night’s adventures and the fun they’d had. After a while, Aela and Farkas retired for the evening with a bottle of wine and a box of matches, hoping to melt a wedge of cheese in less than twenty minutes. Karalissa and Vilkas returned to Breezehome later that evening to go to sleep, snuggled up to each other and sleeping soundly.

            In his chair down the street, Ulfric sighed. He glanced at Belethor’s body, which was literally still in the middle of the street, and he shook his head. “They forgot to untie me.” he said solemnly, looking up at the stars and hoping someone would remember him soon.


End file.
